


baby you're a miracle, and gods know I need one

by MarsBar2019



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, leads to doin it, that good ol trope, undercover in a gay bar, we stan power bottom caduceus clay, wildmom ships her followers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23996728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarsBar2019/pseuds/MarsBar2019
Summary: Fjord and Caduceus are the eyes on the inside of a Port Damali gay bar during a sting operation. When Caduceus starts getting cozy with another man, Fjord has a hard time keeping his feelings under wraps.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 27
Kudos: 243





	1. sing me something terrible, that even dawn may come

“I’m sorry, I’m a little lost here, why me and Cad again?” Fjord asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Why not, like…”

“Who?” Jester asked, one eyebrow raised. “None of us can go in there without everyone getting real suspicious.” She gestured around to herself, Beau, Yasha and Nott. “It’s all men.”

“I could go, but I will be tracking the other party using Frumpkin. And I am not quite as good at talking to people as you, Fjord,” Caleb explained.

“Yeah, it needs to be two dudes who don’t look like they’re being slowly disemboweled any time a stranger tries to make conversation with them,” Beau snorted, glancing pointedly at Caleb.

“Yes, unfortunately, Beauregard the Charismatic is unable to do this part of the job,” Caleb replied sarcastically. She flipped him off.

“But, we can change our appearances, can’t we?” Fjord asked weakly. “Make the girls look like guys?” _You’re protesting too much. You’re going to give yourself away._

“Yes, but that seems stupid when we have you, because you’re a local and you’re good at talking to people, and _obviously_ a super hot guy, and Caduceus, who is also so good at talking to people and super perceptive,” Jester argued.

“But if Fjord is uncomfortable,” Caduceus added, “he shouldn’t have to, if we can avoid it.”

“No, no,” Fjord said, probably also too quickly. “It’s fine, I just - wanted to be sure we thought of all the other options. That’s all. So uh, run through it for me again?”

Nott pushed a piece of parchment towards him where she’d drawn rudimentary directions.

“The Crying Demon is kind of on the fringes of downtown. The slavers from the Talisman Guild is supposed to be coming down from Shadycreek Run tonight. Remember how we heard that the slavers were using a bar to contract deals? The Gentleman’s contact also said he thought it was happening in a bar for men who want to meet other men. When I went to scope out the place, it fit the description and I don’t think there’s any other in town that’s such a sausage fest. So you and Caddy are going to be the eyes on the inside. Try to figure out who’s there to buy. Cad will message us when you’ve identified them and we’ll set up the ambush from there.”

And that was how Fjord ended up here, sitting at the bar, tapping his fingers, watching the other patrons for any sign of people acting shady, exchanging coin. Of course, lots of people were here to flirt, pick up a stranger for the night or make a connection, so looking for hushed conversations or people seeking a quiet spot away from others wasn’t too helpful. Caduceus came and leaned up against the bar.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, voice barely audible even to Fjord.

“Should probably try to talk to people. Get a sense on who’s nervous, not trying to flirt.” Caduceus nodded and ordered another fizzy water. He stepped away without another glance at Fjord, which made his stomach sink a little. It was ridiculous, he knew - this was a mission, not a date, and they were supposed to be strangers to each other. But he would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about bringing Cad here. Even if it was just daydreaming. Speaking of the mission, he wasn’t doing his job. He looked around the bar for anyone sitting alone, but before he could make a decision about where to go next, a man sat down next to him.

“This seat taken?”

He was tall and slender but sinewy, with tawny skin and thick, straight chestnut hair that brushed his shoulders. His large brown eyes looked over Fjord as a smile tugged the corner of his lips. He looked human, but a little off somehow, in the way Yasha was a little off, a little too perfect. An aasimar, maybe?

“No, go right ahead,” he said, smiling pleasantly. “What’s your name?” The man grinned.

“I hear a little Port Damali in that accent. Gorstag. You?”

“Fjord.”

“Nice to make your acquaintance. What brings a handsome fella like you down to a little place like this?” Fjord felt a slight blush come into his cheeks.

“Just on shore leave,” he replied casually, leaning on the bar.

“Ah, you’re a local then?” Gorstag asked. Fjord nodded.

“Born and raised. You?”

“Well, I’m a bit of a nomad. I hail from Issylra, originally, but I’ve been traveling long as I can remember. You ever been there?” Gorstag’s eyes were roving over Fjord again, and Fjord felt himself shift uncomfortably a little under the attention. Gorstag was handsome, and he definitely knew it.

“No, I haven’t. Tell me about it.” Fjord flashed a small smile and adjusted himself to sit facing Gorstag. If the Nein had been right about anything sending him on this part of the job, it was that he could turn up the charm when he wanted to.

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s not all _that_ interesting. I’m sure you’ve been many more fascinating places, sailor.” He winked. “What are you drinking? Can I buy you another?” Fjord looked at his drained glass.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t say no. I’ll have whatever you’re drinking.”

“Excellent,” Gorthag said. Gods, his voice was smooth and deep and he really was very attractive… _Mind on the mission._ Fjord tried to force himself to focus while Gorthag ordered a round of drinks.

“Anyway, Ozanthia is the region of Issylra I’m from. It’s blasted fucking cold, ice all year round, but it’s where Vasselheim is. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.” Gorthag, almost imperceptibly, leaned forward, bringing his elbows up onto the bar closer to Fjord.

“I have, actually. Never been there though. That’s mighty far away. What brings you all the way out here?” Fjord didn’t think Gorthag was their guy. It seemed unlikely that the procurer they were looking for would have started conversation on his own initiative. Still, couldn’t hurt to appear like a normal patron, right? And it might not be such a bad idea to find out where he was staying, for later….

“Oh, I’m just passing through.” Hmm. That was vague.

“What line of work are you in?” Gorthag shifted a little.

“Ah, well, I have to say it’s a little embarrassing.” Fjord furrowed his brow.

“How so? I’m sure it isn’t.” He sipped his drink and smirked at Gorthag. “You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.” The words were an obvious flirtation but they came out more forward than he meant them. Gorthag chuckled and looked him over again.

“Alright, then. I actually used to teach. Don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but at the Soltryce Academy out in Rexxentrum.” Fjord raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Really? That’s a pretty top notch magic school, from what I hear.” Just then, Caduceus entered Fjord’s line of vision, sitting down at a table with - _of course_ \- a stupidly handsome half-orc. The guy was young, but he had thick white hair piled on his head in a topknot, he was tall and muscular, with forest green skin and full, kissable lips. Fjord felt his stomach twist up in knots. He remembered Gorthag and tried to keep his eyes and body language focused on him.

“It is. Pinnacle of any arcane academic’s career, really, to teach there. I’m working on a series of books, about individuals who have contact with the Feywild. People who go come back from there different, and some people end up imbued with magic that just, explodes out of them at random moments when they get angry. It’s fascinating, and….” Fjord found himself unable to focus on Gorthag’s words, as interesting as it sounded.

Caduceus was laughing, his voice cutting through the din to Fjord’s ears clear as a bell. The half-orc was leaning towards him, laughing also, and Fjord could see the slight tinge of pink coloring Caduceus’s cheeks. Caduceus had never looked at _him_ like that.

He tried to shake himself out of it. This was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. They were working, for fuck’s sake. _That doesn’t look like working._ Well, he wasn’t exactly separating business and pleasure either, so what was the fucking problem?

“Fjord?” Fjord snapped back to attention.

“Oh, I - I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to zone out, there,” he said guiltily. “I just…thought I saw someone I knew for a minute.” Gorthag nodded.

“No worries. I’m, uh, gonna circulate a little. But hey, I’m staying at the Casque and Club, if you…want to talk more.” He tossed Fjord a wink and Fjord’s heart jumped back into his throat. He smiled back. _Great. Way to muck that up by mooning over someone else._

Fjord glanced back at Caduceus’s table. The half-orc was really getting in his space now, and that made heat run through Fjord’s blood in a way that caught him off guard. And of course, _naturally_ , the two wandered up to the bar for another drink. He knew Caduceus didn’t drink, so that would have been a perfect opportunity to excuse himself and try to suss out another target. So he was clearly having a good time.

_You’re being a child. Get back to work._

Fjord looked around but didn’t see any other people who weren’t engaged in conversation at the moment. He forced himself to keep his eyes forward when Caduceus and the half-orc sidled up to the bar, just close enough for him to hear their conversation.

“What are you drinking, handsome?” the man rumbled, his voice low and seductive.

“Just water for me. I don’t drink.”

“A man who keeps his body clean. I respect that.” The barkeep came up and took the half-orc’s order for both of them. Fjord snuck a glance when they weren’t looking his way and his stomach twisted angrily. He knew the look in the half-orc’s eyes, raking over Caduceus’s tall, slender form like he was imagining what he’d do with every part of it. He was almost as tall as Caduceus, too, but much more powerfully built, with arms like tree trunks. Fjord felt a mix of hot shame and icy jealousy wash over him, watching him look at Caduceus like that, and worse, Caduceus eyeing him back.

“So, your uh, boyfriend doesn’t mind you coming out and hanging around a place like this?” Fjord almost rolled his eyes at the unsubtle line. Like he hadn’t heard that one a million times. Caduceus flushed - _it’s so cute, how his cheeks get so pink_ \- and looked away shyly.

“Oh, I don’t have one, actually.” The half-orc put a hand to his chest in exaggerated surprise.

“A pretty thing like you? How can that be?”

Fjord lost track of their conversation as they turned away to go back to their table, but he saw the man put his hand on the small of Caduceus’s back as he led them to where they were sitting. Rage swelled up inside his chest and threatened to drown him.

“Honey? Ya there?”

Fjord looked up and saw the barkeep, a shifty, mustached man with long gray hair that he pulled back in a ponytail.

“Sorry, didn’t hear you,” he mumbled.

“I asked if you need anything. Your glass been dry for some time.”

“Oh. Uh. Sure. Just another of…whatever.” The barkeep raised an eyebrow.

“Sure thing.”

Fjord took another pass around the room while he waited for his drink. Gorthag was talking with a chubby, dark-haired elven man, and, he noticed darkly, they seemed to be having a good time. He didn’t see anyone who was alone, and then - just as the barkeep put a glass of frothy beer down in front of him - he saw two men quietly get up from where they’d been seated in a corner and slink to an innocuous looking door behind the bar area.

One was a tiefling with verdant green skin, straight black hair piled between his horns, tall and athletic looking. The other was a goliath, a bald, massive man who had to duck to get under the door, red tattoos painting his pale skin.He saw the barkeep’s eyes follow them intently, but he didn’t move to stop him. _Shit._ This was probably their guy, one of the two was, anyway. Fjord put his money on the tiefling, though he thought both of them were probably in disguise; he hadn’t seen either of them walk in.

He glanced over to Caduceus frantically, who was engrossed in something that slick bastard half-orc was saying. Caduceus had one hand on the other man’s forearm. Fjord tried to ignore how angry it made him. Clearly, Caduceus hadn’t seen the two men; he needed to get his attention. He trained his eyes on Cad, waiting for him to look up so he could signal him somehow. Fuck, they really should have worked this out ahead of time. Three minutes passed, then four, then five. Okay, they had to move. Fjord stood and strode over to them. Caduceus and the half-orc looked up at him in surprise.

“Hi, hello, sorry, hate to interrupt - I just - could I uh, talk to him for a second?” _Smooth._ The half-orc’s brow furrowed.

“You know this guy?” he asked Caduceus, nodding towards Fjord.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s alright. I - I’ll be back.” Caduceus stood gracefully and walked towards the washroom where Fjord led him. He kept his voice down to a careful whisper.

“Hey, so, I just saw two guys head down the back room there, I think that might be our target. Can you message Nott, tell her what’s up? I saw a green tiefling and a big goliath with red tattoos.” _And you didn’t, because you were too busy flirting._ That was petty, and he knew it, so he kept it to himself. Caduceus leaned into Fjord’s space so he could hear the message, and Fjord’s pulse raced at the warmth of Caduceus’s body, so close to him.

“Nott, we’ve got our target in the basement. Fjord thinks they’re going to do the deal there. Reply back with the plan.” Caduceus waited a moment, then nodded. Fjord’s eyes flickered back to Caduceus’s table, where the half-orc was watching them like a hawk.

“Nott says to go out to the alley so we can intercept anyone who tries to run out the back. They’re coming in from the front.” Fjord nodded.

“Okay, let’s book it.” He unconsciously put his hand on the small of Cad’s back and led them both out the front door. He could see the other half-orc’s eyes following them and part of him was a little smug about that, and then fully ashamed. Cad didn’t deserve to be treated like some prize to be won.

When they got out into the alley, Fjord and Caduceus watched the back door and prepared to strike if anyone but one of the Nein walked through it.

“This has been easier than I thought it would be,” Cad said, smiling down at Fjord. “Good thing you saw them.”

“Yeah, you were a bit distracted,” he grumbled. _You’re being an asshole._ “Seemed like a nice guy, though,” he tried. Caduceus shrugged.

“Nice enough. I was enjoying getting to know him.” He averted his eyes, blushing, not looking Fjord in the face. Fjord instantly felt bad; clearly he’d been too obvious in his displeasure.

“Well, hey, um, maybe he’ll still be in there when we finish up here.” Fjord wanted to scream at himself. _What are you doing? Pushing him into the arms of another man?_ But he felt like he’d shamed Caduceus and he felt guilty.

“Yeah, maybe.” Caduceus looked a little sad, Fjord thought. Fuck, he’d really insulted him. Suddenly, he heard footsteps at the mouth of the alley.

“Hey!”

Fjord’s hand went to his blade, but when he turned, he realized it was the half-orc from the bar. Caduceus frowned.

“Feng?”

Fjord stepped towards the half-orc named Feng, with Caduceus following. The asshole was being far too loud and Fjord didn’t want to attract attention from anyone inside.

“Do you need something?” Fjord asked tersely. Feng crossed his arms and looked him over.

“Yeah, I do, what do you think you’re doing? We were having a nice time, and you came in and swiped him out from under me!” Caduceus looked at Feng incredulously and Fjord felt his hackles raise. Everything he’d thought of saying to get rid of this guy went right out the window.

“He’s not the last loaf of bread on the baker’s cart,” Fjord growled. “I didn’t swipe a ‘thing’ out from under you.” Feng stepped closer, Fjord could feel his adrenaline surge. Feng was nearly as tall as Caduceus, so he was almost a foot taller than Fjord, and far more muscular. If Feng wanted to try to start a fight, Fjord would get his ass kicked, not to mention that he had no particular interest in fighting this guy.

“Listen, friend, I don’t think there’s any need for this kind of thing,” Fjord said placatingly.

“I’m not your friend,” Feng snapped. “And you!” He looked at Caduceus, who was leaning against the alley wall, arms crossed. Fjord hadn’t seen Cad get angry, well, ever, but the slightly lowered brow spoke volumes to him.

“I thought you were coming home with _me_ , and then you go sneak off into the back with _this_ guy?”

“I never made any such promise.” Caduceus’s tone was even, calm, but Fjord heard the edge in it that only came out very rarely.

“Fuckin’ cocktease. Thanks for wasting my time, slut,” Feng snarled.

“HEY!” Before Fjord knew what was happening, before he could vet his body’s suggestion, his hands were grasping at Feng’s shirt, pulling Feng’s face close to his. “Don’t you dare talk to him like that!”

Feng bellowed and grasped Fjord’s wrists, tearing his hands from Fjord’s shirt. Fjord thought he felt a bone in his wrist crack but he didn’t have time to process it before the fist made contact with his jaw. Pain exploded through his head, ears ringing, and the taste of copper filled his mouth. The larger half-orc threw him to the ground, his head hit the ground with a hollow _crack,_ and he saw Caduceus dash up.  
  
“Fjord!” His head was spinning. Nothing was right side up. He saw Feng’s foot make contact with Caduceus’s ribs, and red hot rage blew through him that made him forget the pain throbbing in his head.

“Don’t _fucking_ touch him!” Fjord lunged for Feng’s waist, catching him off balance and knocking him to the ground.

“ENOUGH!” Caduceus was still down, but raised himself enough to pull out a small rod of iron and draw glyphs of a spell in the air. Feng’s body went ramrod straight, his muscles locking in place. Caduceus walked over to him, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m going to lift this spell, and you’re going to get the hell out of my sight,” Caduceus said, his voice dangerous and low. The threat radiated off him like ripples from a skipped stone. Fjord was dizzy and let his head fall back to the dirt. Everything was spinning. He blinked fuzzily and turned his head to the left, where he saw Feng running off down the road, as fast as his legs would carry him. He let them fall shut again. He was tired…

“Fjord!” Hearing his name in Caduceus’s voice pulled him closer to the surface. When he felt Caduceus’s large hands under him, lifting him up, he let it happen, leaning into Cad’s narrow chest.

“I’ve got you.” Caduceus guided him just inside the mouth of the alley.

“Deuces,” he groaned. “‘m sorry.”

“No need,” Caduceus said simply. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Cad looking down at him with tenderness that he grasped onto like a lifeline. He used that look to pull himself up, out of the thick fog that threatened to suck him under. Caduceus brushed his hair, sticky with blood, out of his face. Dimly, Fjord was aware that this was a pretty serious head injury; he was glad Caduceus was here.

“Let’s get that taken care of, yeah?” Caduceus pressed his long fingers to the sides of Fjord’s face and Fjord felt a rush of warmth embrace him. The haze lifted from his mind and he blinked, clearing the fog and the pain. His face was still covered in blood, but the wounds closed up, his lip stitched back together, and the bones in his wrist reset into place.

“Thanks, Caduceus,” he said. Now that he was mostly conscious, he felt shame flow through him. “I’m really sorry.” Caduceus raised an eyebrow at him.

“For what?”

“That was stupid. I - I shouldn’t have gotten into it with him.” He sat up, back against the wall with a groan.

“Well… I won’t say you’re wrong. But…I did appreciate you trying to stick up for me.”

“I know you can handle yourself,” Fjord added. “It’s not like I think you need protecting or something.”

“Then what is it?” Caduceus was looking at him with his soulful brown eyes that Fjord could just melt into. Those eyes were beautiful, but also a little unnerving. He knew they saw right through him, and there were things on his inside he didn’t want to display, to Caduceus more than anyone. Fjord tried to shrug noncommittally, like he’d just suicidally thrown himself at an enraged half-orc twice his size on a whim.

“I don’t know, I guess. I just…didn’t want him talking to you like that. Like you’re some piece of meat he was trying to drag home after a hunt.”

Caduceus laughed softly. That sound made Fjord forget how he’d just been injured. He paused, realizing with a blush that Caduceus was so close to him, sitting shoulder to shoulder, and his big brown eyes were gazing right at him.

“Mister Fjord?” Fjord’s pulse was hammering in his veins.

“Yeah?” he managed.

“May I kiss you?”

Fjord’s brain shorted out, and he sat there, mute and slack-jawed, and then he remembered to nod. Before he could blink, Caduceus was on him, hands on his cheeks, warm, soft lips, so soft, against his. Fjord kissed him back hesitantly at first, then harder, more confident. He wanted more, he wanted to never come up for air, bringing his hands up to Caduceus’s face, stroking delicate skin with his thumbs. When they broke apart, Fjord couldn’t help but stare at Caduceus. He was so beautiful. His lips were parted and shiny, and he was smiling and blushing furiously.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,” Caduceus finally said. Fjord was dumbstruck.

“You did?” he asked. Caduceus nodded. “Me too.”

Just then, the back door of the bar burst open with a crack. Fjord and Caduceus jumped up and got into a defensive position. Caleb and Nott climbed out into the alley, covered in dirt and sweat.

“Mission accomplished!” Nott crowed, scurrying over to them.

“Oh, you uh, don’t need us after all?” Fjord asked awkwardly, shifting between his feet. Beau, Yasha and Jester emerged shortly after.

“Nope, we got what we needed and our target was sufficiently scared that he wet himself with just a few threats. No need for the backup after all,” Jester said. “I’m tired though. Let’s go home.” She squinted and looked at Fjord’s bloody face. “Fjord! What happened to you?”

“Barfight,” he mumbled. “Don’t worry about it, Deuces healed me up.” The group started off back towards the Xhorhaus, murmured conversations about next steps going in one ear and out the other for Fjord.

“Could I come talk to you later?” Caduceus bent down and murmured. Fjord, stomach twisting in knots, nodded silently.

A short time later, he was in his room, armor removed and face washed, pacing around nervously while he waited for Caduceus. What was he going to say? Did he regret the kiss? Fjord knew he didn’t. But…now what? Fjord felt himself pulled to Caduceus, like the tide to the shore, but he didn’t know what that _meant_. The question of if he wanted to be with Caduceus felt almost irrelevant in view of the question of if he could or should.

“Fjord?” He heard the low voice in his head like Caduceus was whispering in his ear. “Would you come up to the tower?” Fjord sent back a quick affirmative and ran his hands through his hair, pausing his pacing only to look at the small silvered mirror near the door. He felt disheveled, plain-looking. There were shadows under his eyes and he hadn’t shaved this morning, so he had a bit of stubble around the jaw. He sighed and left his room, climbing the stairs to Caduceus’s tower.

Caduceus was sitting at the base of the tree at the center of the tower when he arrived, looking out into the night sky. The light from the lanterns hanging in the tree danced over him, illuminating his pink curls and soft brown eyes. Fjord could have stared at him all night, but he forced himself to step over to where Caduceus was sitting and take a spot next to him, leaning against the tree.

“I made tea, do you want some?” Caduceus asked, shifting to face Fjord. Fjord nodded mutely, accepting the cup Caduceus poured for him from a steaming stone pot that sat on the floor.

“So, um, should we talk?” Fjord asked, glancing up at Caduceus.

“Yeah, I think so. How are you feeling about what happened, you know, back there?“ An adorable slight flush came into Caduceus’s cheeks as he sipped his tea.

“I feel good about it,” Fjord said softly, feeling warmth rush to his own face. Caduceus smiled.

“I’m relieved to hear that. I thought that maybe I…crossed a line.” Fjord shook his head vigorously.

“No, no, not at all. I wanted it, I really - I really wanted it.” Caduceus, still pink and smiling shyly, reached out and took Fjord’s hand. He laced his fingers with Caduceus’s long ones, the warmth between them palpable.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.” Fjord didn’t know what to say to that, even hearing it for the second time tonight. He had too, but the idea that Caduceus not only wanted him too, but had wanted him, for some time…. It felt almost impossible.

“I did too, so…I guess I’m glad one of us isn’t a coward,” he replied, squeezing Caduceus’s hand.

“Why did you hesitate?” Caduceus asked, taking Fjord’s other hand. The position - facing one another, legs crossed, holding both hands - felt like when they communed. Strangely, that felt appropriate and natural for this conversation. Fjord averted his eyes.

“Well, I guess I didn’t think you…shared my feelings. Or that you could, after everything.” Caduceus furrowed his brow.

“What do you mean?”  
  
“I served something terrible, Cad. I dragged you all along on this quest to release some evil fucking sea snake demigod, I put all your lives at risk and you’ve gotten caught up in something dangerous. I served him longer than I should have because I was afraid of losing power. You’re just…so full of goodness, and I never thought…you could lo- _want_ someone like me.”

“Fjord, watching you blossom has been one of the greatest joys of my life,” Caduceus said quietly. Fjord ’s chest welled with affection and he saw nothing but sincerity in Caduceus’s large eyes.

“You were enslaved and you asked me to help you break your chains. You let me walk by your side as you stepped into the Mother’s embrace. She brought us together because she saw the strength and good in your heart. How could I have not fallen in love with you?”

Fjord simply stared at him. His pulse hammered in his ears. He felt lightheaded.

“Did you just say you love me?” Fjord whispered. Caduceus was blushing hard now, clearly nervous about this conversation but unwilling to be anything but fully honest.

“You don’t have to say it back.”

“Caduceus? Can I kiss you?”

And those easy, beautiful lips were on his again, warm, gentle, not pushing, not asking for more than Fjord wanted to give, but gods, he wanted to give Caduceus _everything._ They broke apart but Fjord held Caduceus close, leaning his forehead against Cad’s.

“I - I don’t know if I’m ready to say that yet, but Caduceus, I want you too, I have for so long, and, and earlier, with that other guy, I’m sorry I acted like such an ass, it just killed me to see you with him. I want to be the one making you smile like that and buying your drinks and I want to take care of you, not - not because you need someone to, but because I want to do it. I want to make you happy.” Caduceus leaned in to kiss him again tenderly.

“You already make me very happy, Fjord, but it would make me happier, I think, if we were together.”

“Oh, Cad,” Fjord sighed, nuzzling his nose against Caduceus’s. “Yes. Yes, I want that too.” He looped his arms around Caduceus’s narrow shoulders and pulled him in to kiss him again. Fjord felt every movement of Caduceus’s mouth against his, drank in every soft sigh and sound of contentment that Caduceus made. He wished he could freeze this perfect moment forever, to remember every second clear as crystal.

Cautiously, Fjord ran his tongue over Caduceus’s lips, with only the slightest pressure, and moaned quietly when Cad opened easily for him, allowed his tongue to slip inside and explore. Caduceus’s taste reminded Fjord of black chocolate and steaming coffee, bitter and rich and dark. The intimacy of tasting Caduceus, running his tongue over each ridge and valley of his mouth, left him breathless, grasping at Caduceus’s tunic with fumbling fingers.

Caduceus’s tongue slid over his, between his lips, claiming him in return. Fjord drew his hands up into Caduceus’s hair, fingers rubbing gently over scalp as he pulled the firbolg closer. Caduceus responded to Fjord’s urging, pressing closer to him with a small whimper, kissing him desperately until he was leaning over Fjord. One arm slipped behind the small of his back and supported him as he lowered to the ground, urging him gently as they kissed.  
  
“Is this alright?” Caduceus breathed into his ear, punctuating the question with a soft kiss to the lobe.

“Yes, more than alright,” Fjord responded, arching his neck to encourage Caduceus to give him _more of that_.

“Are you comfortable?” Caduceus pressed another kiss to his jaw, his neck. Fjord’s back was protesting the hard floor a little, but he wouldn’t have moved from his current position for the world. “I have some blankets and pillows up here, that might be nicer, right?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Fjord admitted. Caduceus smiled and kissed him again before standing and stepping over to the hammock to collect an armful of blankets and pillows. Fjord let his eyes wander over Caduceus, drinking in every movement of his body, the way the sinewy muscles in his forearms shifted under his skin, the motion of his slim hips as he walked. Gods, he was gorgeous. He couldn’t help but smile as Caduceus spread out a thick, pale gray-blue woolen blanket and another muted green one on top of it, picturing Caduceus sleeping out here under the tree he grew for the Mother.

Caduceus stretched out a hand to him and he took it, letting the firbolg lead him to the little nest he’d created in one of the sloping valleys of the tree’s roots. Fjord moved to reposition himself in the cozy burrow, but Caduceus’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“We don’t have to do everything tonight,” he said gently, his large brown eyes searching Fjord’s face. “If you aren’t ready.”

Fjord was surprised. He wasn’t sure if that was the direction tonight was moving in, though he certainly wanted it to, but he didn’t expect Caduceus to be the one to offer the out. He felt a little embarrassed that he hadn’t thought to say something yet, but he hadn’t wanted to be presumptuous.

“What, um, what is it that you want to do?” Fjord asked, blushing hard. Caduceus smiled shyly, cheeks pink.

“I would very much like to make love to you.” Fjord felt his cock, which had already been lazily filling out in his trousers while they were kissing, jump at the suggestion.

“Yeah, yes, yes please,” he breathed, pulling Caduceus closer for another kiss. While they hadn’t been exactly chaste before, this kiss felt different, with more heat behind it, more wanting. Fjord knew that he didn’t have to hold back, to hide his desire from Caduceus, and let his hands run over Caduceus’s chest, his stomach, pulling a soft whine from him. Fjord liked that noise very much… Caduceus guided him to lay down, pausing to pull his shirt up over his head. Fjord’s breath caught in his throat, his eyes raking over planes of skin, pleased by the bit of muscle and fat Caduceus had put on since they met him. Pink hair dusted over his chest and trailed under the waistband of his pants. Seeing his gaze, Caduceus flushed with a small smile, making Fjord smile back, a little embarrassed at being caught staring.  
  
“Sorry, I - you’re just so…beautiful.” His cheeks were burning, but it felt impossible not to say at the same time. Caduceus grinned and perched over Fjord again, bending to kiss him. Fjord hummed in satisfaction, breaking the kiss to move to Caduceus’s jaw, kissing over his neck, over sensitive, velvet-soft skin. As he reached Caduceus’s elongated, slender ear, he ran his tongue over the ridge of it, eliciting a shudder and gasp from Caduceus.

He felt smooth fingers slide under the hem of his shirt, ghosting over his stomach muscles and up to his chest.

“Hey, um, is this allowed?” Fjord said suddenly, pulling away from Caduceus’s ear. “Like…for us?” Caduceus smiled at him.

“You mean as followers of the Wildmother?” he asked. Fjord nodded.

“I mean I guess I never asked about a vow of chastity or anything like that, didn’t really…occur to me at the time.” Caduceus laughed, low and gentle.

“No, she doesn’t ask anything like that of us. That…wouldn’t make much sense, if you ask me. Our bodies and the pleasure they can create are among her greatest gifts.” Caduceus reached up and pushed Fjord’s tunic up over his head. Laying a soft, open-mouthed kiss to Fjord’s neck, he whispered,

“Bringing them together is the highest form of worship.”

Fjord sighed and pulled Caduceus down to be on top of him, warm chests pressed together, the only sounds the warm wind in the leaves and their quiet whimpers and breaths. Fjord gasped and let his head fall back into the pillows when Caduceus drifted down, over his collarbone, his shoulders, to take one peaked nipple in his mouth. The warmth of his mouth and gods, the image, of Caduceus licking and sucking over his sensitive skin, looking up at him with those gorgeous brown eyes…. Fjord knew he was flushed now, all the way down to his chest, and he tangled his fingers in Caduceus’s hair, silently asking for more. Caduceus nuzzled into his dark chest hair and looked up at him tenderly.

“How do you want this?” Fjord whispered, stroking Cad’s hair. “Do you usually…?”

“I’ve been both the giving and receiving partner…do you have a preference?” Fjord shook his head.

“Whatever you want, baby.” The pet name fell from his lips easily, like it had been there all his life, just waiting for the person he was meant to say it to. Caduceus appeared to think for a moment, his fingers playing over Fjord’s arm.

“I want you inside me,” he finally said, and Fjord’s cock, already hard, strained against his trousers at the words. He knew that Caduceus trusted him, but this was a level of vulnerability that he knew full well had to be earned. He wanted to make good on the gift that he was being offered.

“Let me take care of you, darling,” Fjord murmured, bringing Caduceus up to kiss him. Fjord gently guided him to his back, pulling him close, laying slow, sensual kisses over Caduceus’s shoulders and chest. “You’re so beautiful….”

Fjord felt arousal burning through his veins but wanted to take it slow, to savor every second; they wouldn’t have a second chance at a first time. The lust that wanted to yank Caduceus’s trousers open and swallow him down like his life depended on it, or turn him over and fuck him until his legs gave out, was simmering under the surface of Fjord’s skin, but he pushed it back, trying to keep it contained as long as possible. He didn’t know how experienced Caduceus was - given his life of isolation prior to joining the Nein, he’d imagined not very; on the other hand, he was also almost a century older than Fjord - but he wanted to make this the best Caduceus had ever had.

Fjord slid his hands over Caduceus’s sides, reveling in the velvet softness of his skin, kneeling between Caduceus’s thighs, and he felt a hot wave of arousal wash over him when he bent over to kiss him again and felt Caduceus’s hard, hot length pressing against his stomach. He reached down and cupped it, squeezing ever so gently, and was rewarded with a deep groan from Caduceus.

“That feels so good….” he moaned, arching his back. “Please, Fjord…”

“Anything you want, darling,” Fjord purred, moving his hands to hold Caduceus’s hips. Caduceus’s lovestruck smile, his wet, parted lips and flushed face and chest were so enticing, Fjord wanted to keep him in bed all night looking like that.

“I just…want more,” Caduceus managed, his hips canting up into Fjord’s hands. Fjord grinned and nuzzled at Caduceus’s neck, stopping only to suck a small love bite into his collarbone. Caduceus gasped and moaned, long and low, kindling the warmth in Fjord’s core.

“Mmmm, I love those noises you’re making for me,” he whispered, pressing down on the mark with his tongue to pull another little whimper out of Caduceus. “Can’t wait to hear how you sound when I’m inside you…” Caduceus groaned and Fjord was _aching_ with want now, the pressure on his cock almost painful.

“Want these off,” Caduceus mumbled, pulling at the laces of Fjord’s trousers. He was blushing a muted pink now, all the way through his chest, which Fjord found very endearing. Fjord let his long fingers undo the closures and release his hard, leaking cock. Caduceus breathed in sharply and almost whined with need when he saw the flushed, thick length.

“Oh, Fjord….” Caduceus reached forward and wrapped his hand around Fjord’s cock, giving him a stroke that Fjord knew was gentle but felt anything but, he was so keyed up. Fjord let out a stuttering groan and braced himself on a thick tree root, falling forward slightly as his muscles gave out under the pleasure. Caduceus grinned and stroked him again, not letting up until he was leaning over Caduceus, panting and moaning.

“You look stunning like this,” Caduceus murmured, gazing into Fjord’s eyes through thick lowered lashes as he worked over his length. Fjord felt, through his haze of pleasure, almost like laughing. It felt like a ludicrous joke of the universe that this perfect, gorgeous man thought _he_ looked stunning. Fjord wished he had the thought capacity to return a compliment but Caduceus thumbed over the head of his cock and he could hardly remember his own name, intense pleasure shooting through him like lightning striking a tree. Regaining his brain function, he reached down and stilled Caduceus’s hand gently.

“I want to last for you,” Fjord panted, brushing his hair out of his eyes so he could lean down and kiss Caduceus again. Caduceus smiled against his lips.

“I am a very patient man, Mister Fjord.” He resumed his stroking, faster this time, hand slick with Fjord’s precum and Fjord’s brain was gone, only clicking into motion long enough to cry out,

“Ohhhh, Caduceus, I’m gonna-“ and he was gone, collapsing over the other man and spilling onto his stomach with a long, loud groan. Catching his breath, Fjord brought his hand up to Caduceus’s head and pulled him in for an absolutely filthy kiss, tongue swiping over his wet, swollen lips. Gradually, he became aware that his cum was cooling on Caduceus’s abdomen, making him sticky.

“Oh, I’m sorry, let me -“ Fjord got up and retrieved his shirt, creating a little water to soak the fabric, and used it to wipe up Caduceus’s stomach. “I’m, um, I’m sorry I didn’t last - but, I still want to please you, could I go down on you, or something?” Caduceus stroked his hair and smiled lazily.

“How long do you need?” Fjord furrowed his brow.

“What do you mean?”

“To go again. Do you think if you prepare me, you’ll be ready to go again by the time I’m ready?” Fjord just stared, his brain shorted out. His spent cock twitched valiantly at the proposition.

“Yeah,” he breathed finally. “Yeah, I think so.”  
  
“Good.” Caduceus reached under his pillow and tossed a vial of oil to Fjord. “We can rest for a bit, if you need.” Fjord shook his head, propping himself up over Caduceus.

“No, I still want to hear what pretty noises you’re gonna make when I finally open you up,” he purred, arousal shooting straight between his legs at the way Caduceus whined and let his head fall back, eyes fluttering shut. Fjord grinned and let his fingers drift down to dance over Caduceus’s nipples, not stopping as they arrived at the laces of his trousers, where Caduceus’s obvious erection was straining. When Fjord ran his finger over the clothed length, Caduceus almost sobbed, his hips jerking up into the touch.

“Fjord, Fjord, please, I need you…” he moaned, and gods, if Fjord didn’t want to hear his name on Caduceus’s lust-drunk lips like that over and over again.

“I’ll take care of you, baby,” he murmured, undoing the laces maddeningly slowly, finally letting Caduceus’s cock free, earning a sigh of relief from the man under him. A shudder spread through Fjord when he saw it, his cock starting to fill out again gradually as he sat up and drank in the sight. Caduceus was flushed with arousal, his big brown eyes blown black with need, pink curls splayed out on the pillow beneath him, and his long, leaking cock dripping on his damp stomach. Fjord sat on his knees and put a pillow under Caduceus’s hips to tilt them up, mouth watering. He couldn’t take his eyes off Caduceus’s cock. It was almost as long as his forearm and nearly thick around as his wrist.

“Holy shit,” he breathed, tearing his eyes off Caduceus’s cock to look him in the eye. “You’re making me reconsider this whole being on top thing.” Caduceus chuckled, reaching up to stroke Fjord’s arm. “Next time. Tonight all I wantis to make you feel good.”

Fjord spread Caduceus’s legs and ran his hands over planes of hip and thigh, grazing only gently over his cock no matter how much he wanted to linger. He shifted so he was lying on his stomach, and started laying soft, wet kisses over Caduceus’s inner thighs.

“This alright?” he asked softly, raising his head to look at Caduceus. He saw so much tenderness in the firbolg’s face he wanted to hide from it, to close his eyes or bury his face in his arm, but he resisted the urge. “Do you like this?” He punctuated the question with a broad swipe of his tongue under Caduceus’s balls, making sure his intentions were clear.

“Yes, yes, please, Fjord,” Caduceus moaned, spreading his legs wider. “Feels so good…” Fjord grinned and nipped at the soft skin of his inner thigh.

“Lie back and relax then, baby,” he purred, closing his eyes and running his tongue over the tight pucker of Caduceus’s entrance. His nose was filled with the scent of Caduceus’s arousal, intoxicating and heady, and he lost himself to it, burying his tongue in Caduceus’s tight heat, licking over each ridge of muscle. He hadn’t done this in a while, but he paid attention to what made Caduceus shudder and his thighs tremble, what made the fingers threaded through Fjord’s hair tug deliciously hard, what pulled gasps and groans from him. He was a quick learner, and studying Caduceus was certainly no chore. Fjord lost track of time, eating his lover out, but the growing need between his legs and Caduceus’s whines, the bucking of his hips for more friction, told him it was time to move on.

Fjord gave Caduceus’s loosening hole another pass with his tongue, leaving behind as much slickness as possible, before sitting back on his knees and pulling Caduceus’s legs around his hips. His jaw, rough with stubble, was aching and wet but he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t help but stare and think again about how lucky he was, in every possible way, to be here with Caduceus right now.

“You look like an angel,” Fjord murmured, realizing only after he’d said it that it was out loud, and blushed a little harder. But if anyone deserved to hear that, it was Caduceus.

“I’m only as bright as the sun whose light shines on me,” Caduceus replied softly, placing his hands over Fjord’s where they were gripping his hips. Fjord again wanted to hide from the praise, but there was nowhere to go, so he simply lowered his eyes and returned to his task, telling himself that Caduceus was talking about the Wildmother.

Fjord retrieved the oil that Caduceus had handed him, and uncorked it, drizzling it over his fingers and Caduceus’s hole, making sure he was good and slick. He silently thanked the Wildmother that he had decided to trim his nails a few days ago. Taking a deep breath, he leaned down to press a few kisses to Caduceus’s hips and stomach with a giddy smile.

“Tell me if anything doesn’t feel good, okay?” Fjord said, pressing the pad of his oiled finger to Caduceus’s fluttering hole. Caduceus nodded vigorously.

“Yes, I will, gods, please just put that in me,” he whined, his back arching up off the blankets. Fjord felt more than a little smug at having reduced this thoughtful and infuriatingly patient man to begging. He circled Caduceus’s rim teasingly, delighting in the keen he elicited, before slowly pushing in and letting out a moan of his own at the feeling of Caduceus’s slick velvet heat surrounding him. Caduceus sputtered and his legs trembled, his warm passage clenching down around Fjord’s finger as he worked it in and out.

“That’s it,” Fjord whispered, unable to take his eyes off Caduceus’s face. “Show me how good it feels, baby.”

“So good, so good,” Caduceus groaned, bucking his hips to get more sensation. Fjord obliged by slipping a second slick finger past the tight ring of muscle and stroking his walls. He was fully hard again, his cock pressing up against Caduceus’s as he fingered him open. Caduceus moaned happily and rocked his hips forward, feeling the stretch of Fjord’s fingers. Fjord thought he could watch this all day, Caduceus coming apart in his hands like this. Gently, he scissored his fingers, pulling another sobbing whine from his lover.

“Too much?” he asked cautiously, slowing his movements.

“No, no, so good, Fjord, please, so good,” Caduceus babbled, spreading his legs wider. Fjord smiled and continued to stroke, searching for the tiny pleasure center that would send Caduceus into spasms, and - ah, there it was. He placed the pads of his two fingers on Caduceus’s prostate and pressed lightly, and Caduceus practically _shouted_ , arching up off the blankets with a choked cry and clenching his thighs around Fjord’s hips.

“How’s that feel, beautiful?” Fjord rumbled, grounding Caduceus with his other hand firmly on the firbolg’s waist. Caduceus just moaned blissfully in response. Fjord was dimly aware that if any of the others came looking for them up here there was no chance of hiding what they were doing, but he was also very aware that he didn’t give a fuck. He’d give them an eyeful rather than move from this coveted position. He began fingering Caduceus again, applying more oil to his fingers and adding a third, pushing in slowly. Caduceus was panting and shaking now, his face bright red, not able to articulate more than a stuttering sigh of pleasure. Fjord’s own cock was aching now, the burning heat and pressure of Caduceus around him and the breathtaking sight of him coming undone sending pulses of arousal between his legs.

“Are you ready for me?” Fjord growled, feeling how pliable and relaxed Caduceus’s walls were. Caduceus nodded desperately, clutching at Fjord’s arms.

“Need you inside me,” Caduceus mumbled, his chest heaving with each breath. Fjord pulled his fingers out cautiously, and Caduceus keened at the loss, his hole fluttering around nothing and begging to be filled. Reaching for the oil with shaking hands, Fjord slicked his cock and leaned over to kiss Caduceus one more time, melting into the heat and softness of his lips.

“You’re sure?” he breathed shakily, pushing a lock of hair out of Caduceus’s face.

“Yes, I’ve never been more sure,” Caduceus said firmly, taking Fjord’s face in his hands and placing a kiss on his forehead. Fjord reached between Caduceus’s legs and guided his cock to press against his entrance, and even just sliding the head inside, he was dizzy with pleasure. Caduceus gasped and clutched at his back, canting his hips up and whimpering,

“More, please, Fjord, more…”

How could he resist a request like that? Fjord restrained himself on trembling limbs, trying to push in cautiously in case it was too much, but Caduceus was loose and slick and his body accepted him easily. The two of them stilled for a moment, panting, to allow Caduceus to get used to the stretch and, Fjord thought to himself, so he could calm himself down a little. Being on his second orgasm gave him more endurance but Caduceus felt divine, hot and tight and wet, and he knew he wouldn’t last forever. When Caduceus pulled him in for another kiss and tilted his hips up in a silent request, Fjord braced himself on the large, gnarled roots of the tree and began to thrust, slow and steady, into Caduceus’s tight passage. His brain was scrambled, a haze of sensation and pleasure, the rough bark under his fingers, the soft warmth of Caduceus pressing breathless kisses to his shoulders, the feeling of Caduceus clenching around him and the beautiful, erotic sounds that he was making.

Somewhere in his consciousness, he was aware that he was moaning, letting out shaky groans as he thrust from quivering thighs, and when he let his head drop to Caduceus’s shoulder, he heard a gasping litany of whispered praises,

“-oh, gods, Fjord, you’re so much, so beautiful, I’ve waited so long for you, oh, oh, ohhhh, you feel so good inside me…we were made for each other…I love you, I love you, ohhhh, _Fjord_ -“

Fjord felt his hips moving faster now, shallower thrusts coming of their own accord, his peak threatening the longer he buried himself in Caduceus.

“Ohhh, fuck, Cad,” he moaned. He wished he had the eloquence to praise Caduceus right now but he simply didn’t, could hardly remember how to spell his own name, so he didn’t try. Knowing he was on the edge, Fjord reached between them to grip Caduceus’s cock with a slick hand, making the firbolg shudder and jerk up beneath him with a wordless shout. Caduceus was clearly close himself and Fjord stroked him in time with his thrusts, leaning down to whisper in his ear,

“Show me how good you feel, baby-“

-and Caduceus arched up, crying out and releasing over Fjord’s hand, painting the both of them with white. Fjord let out a choked groan as Caduceus clenched around him, the spasms of orgasm contracting around Fjord’s cock and with a few more thrusts into Caduceus’s tight, throbbing hole, his vision went white, pleasure coursed through him like lightning and he collapsed over Caduceus, emptying into him.

Caduceus wrapped his arms around Fjord’s shoulders, pressing Fjord into the crook of his neck. The two lay there for a long few moments, stroking skin, catching their breath, unwilling to move an inch. Fjord pulled out when he felt himself softening, and tilted Caduceus’s head to take his mouth in a kiss. Their kisses were soft, unhurried, full of tenderness and love, if Fjord dared name it that yet. Fjord gazed into Caduceus’s soft brown eyes. _Am I really this lucky?_ Nuzzling into Caduceus’s chest, he felt a slight vibration under his cheek, and when he raised his head, Caduceus was looking up, eyes closed, his lips moving in a whisper Fjord couldn’t hear.

Just then, Fjord felt a spreading wet against his thigh, so he kissed Caduceus’s shoulder and got up to go to the washbasin, bringing back a rag and clean water. He knelt between Caduceus’s legs and dipped the cloth in the water, wiping it over flushed, soft skin to clean the remnants of oil and cum. He was sticky too but he could deal with that later. For now, he wanted to give his lover the reverence he deserved.

Caduceus let him, his intense gaze watching every movement of Fjord’s hands. When he was clean, Caduceus reached out for the bowl and dumped the old water, refilling it with a barely perceptible gesture.

“Your turn.” Caduceus guided Fjord down to lay back next to him and took a clean rag, lavishing the same care over Fjord’s body that Fjord had over his.  
  
“Cad?”

“Yes, Fjord?”

“What were you saying before? I couldn’t hear you. I mean - if you don’t mind me asking.” He felt color rise into his cheeks. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. If Caduceus wanted him to know, he would have said it out loud. Caduceus smiled at him and wiped the last of the oil from Fjord’s thighs.

“I was thanking her. For you. For bringing us together. For creating our bodies with so much capacity for pleasure and our hearts with so much ability to love.”

“Could I stay here with you? Tonight?” Fjord asked, before he could stop himself. Caduceus stared at him.

“I assumed that you would. Unless you would prefer to sleep in my bed downstairs, or yours?” Fjord shook his head.

“I want to sleep wherever you are. If - if that’s alright.” Caduceus beamed at him.

“Well, it’s a nice night, so I was thinking of sleeping in the hammock if you’re alright with that.” _I would sleep in the dirt as long as it was with you._ Fjord bit the sappy sentiment back and just nodded with a yawn. Caduceus replaced the pillows in the hammock and climbed in with a fresh blanket. He gestured wordlessly for Fjord to join him.

Standing and stretching, Fjord found his trousers and slipped them back on before clambering up beside Caduceus.

“I feel very lucky,” Fjord murmured, wrapping an arm around Caduceus’s shoulders and letting the other man settle into the crook of his arm, one long leg thrown over Fjord’s hips. “I kind of can’t believe you really want to be with me.”

“Of course I do. I love you.” They rocked in silence for a long few moments. Lifting his head up to gaze at the canopy, Fjord opened his mouth and worked around the lump of emotion in his throat, whispering, so quiet he couldn’t hear it himself,

“I love you too.”

He tried out the words on his tongue, wanted to know how they felt coming out of his mouth and he found that once he got past the fear, the part of himself that convinced him he’d be rejected, that Caduceus would look down at him and suddenly realize with disgust who he’d gone to bed with, they fell from his lips like honey, sweet and easy and natural. He wasn’t ready to say them out loud yet, but knowing he could say them, just to himself, warmed his fragile heart. If he had been paying more attention, he might have noticed how Caduceus’s ears flickered at the words, the slight widening of his contented smile. He would say it when he was ready.

“I think the Mother has plans for us,” Caduceus said, one hand reaching up to lace fingers with Fjord. “She brought us together for a reason, I just…I just know it.” Lying under Melora’s tree, the starlight shining down on them from above, Fjord thought that if this moment was the only reason she brought them together, he would worship at her feet until his last breath.


	2. hey, Lady Day, can you save my life this time?

Over the next week, each time Fjord awoke, tangled with Caduceus, he struggled to remember exactly where he was and whether the last few days were real, not a series of elaborate dreams. Given the privacy of the tower, Caduceus and Fjord were able to keep their blossoming relationship to themselves. Fjord slept in Caduceus’s bed and just hoped that nobody came looking for him in the middle of the night.

Fjord didn’t think he’d ever been so happy. Neither of them wanted to leave the other’s side; when Caduceus went out to the garden to tend his plants, Fjord followed like a puppy and let Caduceus teach him how to care for the them, how to let them tell you what they needed. He couldn’t say he cared much about the plants, but he loved watching Caduceus’s face light up, loved seeing how excited he was to share it with Fjord. Caduceus followed him to the training room in the mornings, on the pretext of offering prophylactic massage to Beau, Fjord and Yasha when they finished their workouts. If it meant Fjord showing off a little for him, and getting to appreciate his boyfriend’s muscles as they strained and rippled under sweat sheened skin - well, that was a nice bonus. He did give therapeutic massages to Beau and Yasha, who were too busy dancing around each other to notice the two of them, and if he waited until they were gone to do Fjord’s, and it sometimes - well, always - led to them sneaking next door to Fjord’s room to finish it, they didn’t need to know that.

This new dimension to their bond improved their worship of Melora, too; they communed together every evening, under the glimmering lights of her tree. Fjord and Caduceus both agreed that she seemed pleased by these developments and that their meditation and prayer went deeper than it had before. She sent signs of encouragement, sometimes the caress of a warm wind like a hand on the cheek, or her tinkling laugh dancing through the leaves. They explored each other’s bodies in the cradle of her roots with soft lips and gentle touches, whispered words of praise and love falling from their mouths like petals from a flower.

On this particular night, a week or so later, Fjord was resting in the hammock, reading a collection of speeches and essays that Caleb had lent him by one of the important political revolutionaries of Wildemount. Though he didn’t live and breathe books like Caleb did, he hadn’t had the best education growing up, and now that he had some stability and comfort, he wanted to learn. Still, as hard as he tried to focus, he couldn’t, and he found himself staring off into space as often as he was staring at the pages.

As if called by Fjord’s restless energy, Caduceus appeared just behind him, stretching his arms over Fjord’s shoulders. Fjord smiled and turned his head to look at Cad.

“Hey there,” Fjord drawled, leaning into the touch. “Here to join me?” Caduceus pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come downstairs with me.”

“Downstairs? Like to your room?”

“Yeah, to my room.” Caduceus ran his hands over Fjord’s torso. Fjord hummed in acceptance, stretching out to get more of Caduceus’s hands on him.

“Lead the way, handsome.” Caduceus held out a hand and Fjord took it, climbing down out of the hammock and immediately getting swept up in a hot kiss. Caduceus’s arm slid firmly around his back, pulling Fjord to his chest. When they parted, he saw arousal in Caduceus’s eyes that excited him, lighting the flame of want in his belly. Fjord descended the stairs from the tower behind Caduceus as fast as his feet would carry him, his heart pounding in his ears.

As soon as he cleared the bedroom door, Caduceus closed it and pushed him up against it, not hard, just firm, like he was taking Fjord through a waltz: _I know the steps, darling, just let me lead._ He kissed Fjord fiercely, the heat of his body making Fjord dizzy.

Fjord moaned into Cad’s mouth, one hand coming up to his shirt to pull him closer and the other tangled in his pink waves. Caduceus’s tongue pressed against Fjord’s lips and he opened without hesitation. _I’m yours, baby, take me_.

Caduceus held Fjord’s cheek in one hand and his waist in the other and Fjord was struck, not for the first time, by his strength. Caduceus was tall and lean but Fjord knew he could toss him over his shoulder if he wanted to, and boy, in that moment, did he want Caduceus to.

“You’re enthusiastic tonight,” Fjord observed with a grin, when they finally came up for air. Caduceus was flushed and his eyes were dark.

“I’m never less than enthusiastic when it comes to you, Fjord.” Cad stroked Fjord’s cheek with his thumb. “But tonight I want to take care of you. Let’s turn off all that noise in your head for a little while, yeah? Do you trust me?“

“Yes,” Fjord replied instantly. “Always.”

“Then don’t worry about anything, okay? I’m going to make you feel good.” Fjord nodded, unable to tear his gaze away from Caduceus’s hungry brown eyes. Cad moved his hand to the small of Fjord’s back and led him gently to the bed, guiding him to sit on the edge.

Fjord hummed with satisfaction when Cad kneeled in front of him, hands roaming over his waist and hips.

“I have to say, this is quite a nice view,” Fjord said, winking.

“Mine’s better.” Caduceus’s long fingers slipped under the hem of Fjord’s shirt and pushed it up over his head. Fjord’s breath hitched as Caduceus brushed over his nipples, the sensation just the barest hint of what was coming. He shuddered happily and arched into the touch, and he was rewarded with more touches. Caduceus’s fingers drifted up to circle his nipples, pulling a soft moan from Fjord’s parted lips.

“I know how much you like that,” Cad murmured, closing his eyes and pulling Fjord’s chin forward so he could capture his mouth in a kiss. Caduceus’s hands roved over his exposed skin, stroking Fjord’s shoulders and toned abdomen; his obvious enjoyment did make Fjord feel a little smug.

“For such a spiritual guy, you’re awful interested in my biceps,” Fjord teased. Caduceus flushed and grinned.

“I’m only mortal.” Cad bent to press kisses over Fjord’s neck, his fingers coming up to play with Fjord’s nipples again. Fjord let his head fall back and sighed, the pleasure radiating through him still light, still tantalizing, but fueling the fire in his core.

One finger descended beneath Fjord’s waistband, tickling the trail of dark hair on his stomach and teasing at his sensitive skin. Fjord surprised himself with a soft whine, less from the intensity of the pleasure than from his growing need for more. He bit his bottom lip and looked down at Cad beseechingly.

“C’mon, baby, don’t tease me…” Caduceus smiled, but his eyes were still dark with lust.

“You don’t mean that.” Fjord groaned and fell back onto the mattress, feet still fixed on the ground. He didn’t really mean it, but Caduceus didn’t need to call his bluff. He heard the rustle of clothes shifting as Caduceus stood and bent over him, planting one hand on the bed next to Fjord’s head. His other hand lifted Fjord’s knee up around his hip.

“I want you.” His hand drifted down to the curve of Fjord’s ass and squeezed it, leaving no doubt as to his intentions. Fjord moaned, embarrassingly loud. They’d had plenty more sex since the first night, but they were enjoying exploring one another, experimenting with all different ways to make love; each time, he’d thought to himself, _next time_. Well, now it was next time.

“Do you think you can be patient enough for that?” Caduceus asked with a raised eyebrow. He knew that if he just wanted a quick tumble, Caduceus would have obliged; the question wasn’t rhetorical. Cad waited for his consent.

“ _Yes_ ,” Fjord breathed. Caduceus cupped Fjord’s cheek in his other hand.

“Excellent.” His pink hair falling aside like a curtain, he bent down to kiss Fjord again, his lips warm and familiar and slightly more insistent this time. “Let me take care of you, then.”

“Can’t say no to such a tempting offer,” Fjord replied, letting his eyes flutter shut as Caduceus moved down his jaw, over his neck and chest, to take a nipple in his mouth. Fjord groaned as the pleasure radiated through him, writhing under Cad’s touch. Caduceus sighed and breathed in Fjord’s scent, placing maddeningly soft, open mouthed kisses over his chest.

“Love how sensitive you are,” Caduceus murmured, looking up at him through lowered lashes as he ran his tongue over the other nipple. “Look at you…. Gorgeous.” Fjord flushed and turned his head to the side, squeezing his eyes shut.

“None of that,” Caduceus chastised softly, reaching forward to turn Fjord’s chin back towards him. “I see how you look away when I praise you. Let me do it, Fjord.” Fjord swallowed thickly and nodded.

Caduceus gave a pleased hum and went back to work on Fjord’s chest. Fjord felt a warm, wet kiss just under his nipple, and then sudden pleasure-pain as Cad bit down on him with a groan.

“Ohhh, fuck!” Fjord cried, one hand in Caduceus’s hair and the other in his own. Cad lifted his head and his eyes met Fjord’s, gleaming with lust. He could see the shadow of a bruise forming on his chest and his cock twitched in approval.

“I didn’t know you were, uh, into that kind of thing,” Fjord said with a blush, feeling sheepish. Caduceus smirked and shifted his body up so he was face to face with Fjord. Fjord whined and squirmed, feeling Cad’s hot length pressing against his stomach.

“I’m marking my mate,” he growled in Fjord’s ear. Fjord groaned at that, the eroticism of visibly belonging to Caduceus, being _owned,_ going straight to his cock.

“Yes, please, baby…” He was already painfully hard, bucking his hips up into Cad’s, looking for more friction. He’d promised he could be patient but now he wasn’t so sure.

“I’ve got you.” Caduceus kissed him again, slowly, helping Fjord pull back from the edge of desperation. He tried to regulate his breathing, focus on Caduceus’s lips against his, ignore the need between his legs. After a few minutes of this unhurried making out, Fjord felt the desire in his core simmer to a low flame. He rolled his hips up against Caduceus, silently asking for more, hissing in a breath at the stimulation.

“Will you take your shirt off?” Fjord asked, sitting up and blushing furiously. He didn’t like being the only one in a state of undress. Caduceus nodded and obliged; Fjord felt the embers of arousal glowing again as he drank in the firbolg’s long, lean torso. Caduceus noticed him looking and raised an eyebrow.

“And to think you were teasing _me_ earlier for being superficial….”

“It’s not superficial to appreciate a fine work of art, is it?” Fjord leaned back and winked, not taking his eyes off Caduceus. Cad was flushed from his cheeks to his chest, clearly just as aroused as Fjord, but that damnable patience helped him keep it under wraps.

Caduceus practically pounced on him, pinning him to the mattress by his shoulders, and took his mouth in a nakedly sexual kiss. He gradually moved down Fjord’s body, leaving hungry kisses behind, until he reached the laces of Fjord’s trousers. Fjord felt Cad’s warm, wet tongue dip just below the waistband of his pants and slide over sensitive skin, just in the gap between his cock and his pelvis, sending a thrill up Fjord’s spine. Fjord whined and clenched the sheets in his hands. He didn’t know how much more of this teasing he could take. Caduceus looked up at him.

“I know you’re impatient, Fjord, but I want to make sure you’re as relaxed as I can make you.” He pressed a barely-there kiss to the clothed outline of Fjord’s cock, gazing up at him through long lashes. Fjord knew he wasn’t judging, or scolding; he understood how much Fjord wanted him and Fjord knew he was right. He’d never taken anyone as big as Caduceus and they wouldn’t get a second chance at a first time for this either. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”

Undoing the laces of Fjord’s trousers with long, dextrous fingers, Caduceus wasted no time pulling Fjord out of his small clothes and licking over the underside of his cock. Fjord arched off the bed and swore, his leaking cock jumping at the contact. Caduceus smiled and kissed Fjord’s tip before swallowing him down to the root in one swift motion.

“ _Baby_ , oh my gods, _Caduceus_ , _fuck_ ….” Fjord gasped. Caduceus took one of his hands, still gazing up at Fjord with his cock in his mouth - and gods, if that wasn’t a picture Fjord wanted to keep forever - and placed it in his hair. Fjord threaded his fingers through Cad’s locks and let his nails brush over skin. He was rewarded with a deep groan that he felt pulse through his entire body, and he keened, his hips bucking up into Caduceus involuntarily. He propped himself up for a second, worried he’d gone too far, but Caduceus was bobbing his head happily, taking Fjord as far as he’d go. The next time he pulled back, he let his tongue drift down to tease at Fjord’s balls.

“You’re showing off,” Fjord groaned, throwing a hand over his face. He felt dangerously close already. Maybe he should cum now and then they’d work up to a second by the time Caduceus opened him.

“Do you want to cum?” Cad asked, as if reading his mind. Fjord nodded.

“Think it might help me last longer,” he murmured, a little embarrassed. It was so easy for the handsome, sweet firbolg to take him apart. In addition to the emotional bond between them, which improved the sex tremendously, Caduceus used his almost otherworldly powers of observation to quickly learn how to efficiently reduce Fjord to a babbling mess. The slightest reaction didn’t escape his notice, and all the sex they’d had over the past week had just taught Cad endless combinations to get exactly the response he wanted.

“I think you’ll be more relaxed if you cum first,” Caduceus said, laying wet, open kisses to Fjord’s cock. Fjord loved the way he looked like this, his lips red and swollen and shiny. He let his head fall back on the bed and sank into the pleasure as Cad took him back in his mouth, enveloping him in warm, wet sweetness.

“Oh, honey,” Fjord sighed, stroking Cad’s hair. “Feels so good…” Caduceus hummed in approval, smiling around Fjord’s cock. Soon, he picked up the pace, his head bobbing up and down, his hand following the movement of his lips. Fjord could feel the inevitable climb to his peak; his gasps and moans started to come louder, more desperate. Cad used his other hand to cup Fjord’s balls and when he gave them a gentle squeeze, swallowing Fjord down, Fjord felt his hips jerk of their own accord, and he barely had time to choke out a warning,

“ _Cad!”_

-before he was spilling into Cad’s mouth, his muscles tensing and releasing, and his cock was twitching, emptying the last of his load over his boyfriend’s tongue.

Caduceus moaned softly, nuzzling his nose against Fjord’s softening cock. He pressed a kiss to the head, making Fjord spasm with oversensitivity.

“You’re so beautiful,” Cad murmured, gazing up at Fjord from between his legs, cheek resting on his thigh. Fjord smiled wearily. Right now, in his afterglow, maybe he could believe it.

Caduceus shifted back up onto the bed, wrapping an arm around Fjord and pulling him to his chest.

“How was that?”

“Fuckin’ amazing, as always,” Fjord mumbled, pressed against Cad’s chest. He felt the rumble of Caduceus’s laugh more than he heard it. Coming back to the surface after a few moments, Fjord rolled Cad over onto his back and straddled him, leaning down for a kiss. Caduceus’s hands roamed over his bare back, and he gave a soft groan of pleasure when Fjord rolled his hips back onto Caduceus’s straining erection. Fjord wasn’t anywhere near hard again, but he knew it would take time for Cad to prep him.

“Are you ready, baby?” he purred, running his hands over Caduceus’s chest. Caduceus still had that same wanting look in his eyes, patient and hungry. He sighed with a smile and stroked Fjord’s thighs.

“I love you so much.” Fjord beamed at him and kissed him again, long and slow. He still couldn’t say it, but he could express it in other ways. Their kissing became more heated again, Cad’s hands eventually drifting down to cup Fjord’s ass with a low growl in his throat. Fjord groaned with want, grinding his hips against Caduceus.

“Fuck, baby, I want you so bad, please get me ready so I can take you….”

“I want you too,” Cad panted. “Get on your back for me?”

Fjord rolled onto his back so fast it was like he’d been shoved, and Caduceus chuckled at his eagerness. He settled between Fjord’s legs with a bottle of oil in his hand and spread Fjord’s thighs.

“I love how much you love this.” Slicking one finger, he lightly circled the pad against Fjord’s entrance, the sensation sending lightning bolts through Fjord’s body. Fjord moaned, long and low, spreading his legs further, too turned on not to beg. Cad kept circling, pressing just a little more and a little more until Fjord’s body accepted him, taking his finger in of its own volition.

“That’s it, Fjord, open up for me,” Caduceus murmured, his big brown eyes gazing into Fjord's intensely. Fjord felt the urge to shrink under the gaze, to cover his face with his hands, but he remembered Cad’s gentle chastisement earlier. _None of that. Let me do it._ Flushed and whining for more, he let Caduceus look at him, held onto that gaze like it was a lifeline and let himself get pulled under by the current of sensation. He felt Caduceus massaging his walls, softening and stretching him until he was ready for another. When a second finger slid past his tight rim, he arched up and threaded his hand into his own hair, grounding himself.

“Breathe with me, that’s it, you’re doing so well…. Is it too much?” Fjord shook his head.

“No, Cad, it’s so good, it’s so good, please don’t stop…”

Caduceus gave a mischievous smile and bent down to run his tongue over the underside of Fjord’s cock, which was fully hard again now.

“That’s not playing fair,” Fjord groaned, but before he could lodge a more eloquent complaint, Caduceus’s fingers started moving inside him and the wind was knocked from his lungs. Just two of Cad’s fingers were almost as big as some cocks he’d taken. When the pads of those long fingers found his sweet spot, Fjord cried out, his hole clenching down, intensifying every sensation of Cad inside him.

“You make the most beautiful sounds when I touch you like this…. You look radiant, Fjord….”

“Baby, please, I need you, I need you-“

“I know,” Caduceus soothed, his other hand lacing in Fjord’s unoccupied fingers. “I want to be inside you, so bad right now, sweetheart, but - I have to make sure you’re ready, I don’t want to hurt you.” Mercifully, he laid off Fjord’s prostate, focusing instead on scissoring him open, stretching him and adding generous amounts of oil. When Cad’s third finger entered, Fjord practically shouted, thighs trembling from the stimulation. He moaned happily as Cad crooked his fingers to glance over his prostate, stars exploding behind his eyes.

“I’m ready, I’m ready, please, Caduceus….” He propped himself up and looked at Cad beseechingly. “I want this with you, please, honey, don’t make me wait anymore.” Caduceus pressed a soft kiss to Fjord’s inner thigh.

“I trust you that you’re sure.” Fjord ground his hips down on Caduceus’s fingers, sending another wave of pleasure through him.

“I do love this,” he panted. “But I want your dick more.” Caduceus grinned and shook his head.

“Your bossiness is one of your more endearing qualities.” Fjord was about to quip back when Caduceus’s fingers pulled out of his loose, slick hole. He whined, clenching down around nothing, but was rewarded with Caduceus finally shucking his pants, revealing his enormous, dripping cock. Fjord couldn’t help but stare, trying to compute how that would possibly fit inside him.

“Can I be on top?” Caduceus nodded, sliding into bed beside him and holding his arms out for Fjord. Fjord straddled him and bent down for another long, loving kiss. Caduceus slicked his cock and guided it to Fjord’s waiting passage. Threading his fingers in Caduceus’s, Fjord took a deep breath and sank down on just the head of Caduceus’s cock. There was a slight burn at first that settled into a pleasurable stretch, and Fjord let out a stuttering moan at the sensation. Caduceus’s other hand was at his hip, grounding them both, and his eyes were wide, lips parted in surprise and pleasure.

“Oh, _Fjord_ ….” Caduceus’s eyes fluttered shut as Fjord lowered himself further onto Cad’s length. Gods, he was already feeling so full and he was only halfway there. Fjord was trembling now, pausing for his body to adjust to the stretch. “You feel like heaven…”

Fjord groaned as he slid down further, feeling Cad’s cock reach places inside him he didn’t know could be touched. The pressure on his prostate was inevitable with his girth and his cock was aching to be touched, leaking and rock hard.

“I…I’ve never felt like this,” Fjord managed, gasping and clutching at Caduceus’s hand.

“You don’t have to take it all,” Cad reassured quickly. “Don’t get hurt, you feel incredible just as you are. I could never have imagined, ohhhh gods….”

Fjord started, ever so slowly, riding him, still not taking him in all the way, but rolling his hips up and down, feeling the heavenly drag of Caduceus sliding in and out. Fjord clenched his thighs around Cad’s waist, dimly aware that sounds were coming out of him now that he hardly recognized. Caduceus was moaning, trying to keep from thrusting l despite the intense heat and wet of Fjord around him, and Fjord could feel Cad’s fingers digging into his thighs. Through his haze as he worked his hips, he let out an embarrassingly loud whine when he thought about walking around with bruises shaped like Cad’s hands on his ass. Suddenly, he felt the base of Caduceus’s cock pushing against his entrance on his downward thrust and realized he was open enough that he was taking the whole thing. Caduceus made a strangled sound, gripping Fjord’s hips even harder and thrusting up into him for the first time, pulling a sobbing keen from Fjord’s lips.

“Ohhhh, _baby_ ,” he moaned, circling his hips and grinding down on Cad’s base. “Feels so good…oh my gods….”

“You’re incredible,” Caduceus panted, running his hands over Fjord’s chest. “You look amazing right now….”

Bracing himself against Caduceus’s chest, Fjord started riding harder, his body taking over and chasing the pleasure. Looking into Cad’s eyes, he could see the firbolg fighting to restrain himself, and Fjord no longer wanted him to.

“Baby, please fuck me, please, I want it,” Fjord gasped, and the words were barely out of his mouth before Caduceus propped himself halfway up, slid his arms around Fjord’s back and started driving into him. Fjord couldn’t think in sentences anymore, only words and noises - _more, oh yes, take me, please, just like that_ \- and the sounds Caduceus was making were only driving him closer to his second climax.

“Gods, Fjord,” Cad groaned, “I can’t get enough of you.” He raised one hand to Fjord’s chest and pressed on the mark he’d made earlier. Bringing his lips to Fjord’s ear, through his panting, Fjord heard him whisper,

“ _And you’re all mine_.”

Fjord’s walls clenched down on Cad, just on the edge of spilling over, and Caduceus clearly felt it because he pressed two fingers into Fjord’s mouth and growled,

“ _Go on, beautiful boy. Let me see you cum._ ”

Fjord exploded with a wordless shout, streaking their stomachs with hot white. His vision went fuzzy around the edges as pleasure burst through his body, and he moaned in desperation when Cad’s pace didn’t let up. He felt every little movement, every drag of Cad’s cock, now that he was edging towards oversensitivity, but he ground down on Caduceus with each thrust and tangled his hands in pink hair. He wanted Cad to cum inside him, claim him from the inside. Groaning as his hole throbbed around Caduceus’s cock, Fjord took Cad’s face in his hands and tilted his chin upward. Caduceus’s big brown eyes were blown black with lust and met Fjord’s gaze immediately.

“I’m so close, Fjord, what-“

“Cum inside me,” he gasped. “I want you to smell yourself on me in the morning.”

Caduceus let out a loud, sobbing moan as he came, his hips straining upwards to bury his cock in Fjord’s ass as deep as he could. Fjord sighed happily when he felt the warm wetness spread inside him, warmth blooming in his chest. _And you’re all mine._ And then, a moment of soft, quiet stillness.

“Mmm, that was so good, honey,” Fjord murmured, pressing soft, hazy kisses over Caduceus’s forehead. Cad mouthed at his neck, catching his breath, hands roaming over Fjord’s back.

“You were marvelous,” Cad sighed, tucking a lock of Fjord’s hair behind his ear. “So gorgeous…being inside you feels amazing…” Fjord winced as he pulled off Caduceus’s softening dick, feeling slick and cum leak out onto his thighs. He collapsed on his front with a contented sigh, reaching his hand back to take Caduceus’s and pull him closer.

“Are you alright?” Caduceus asked, laying on his side next to Fjord. Fjord ran his fingers over Cad’s chest, idly playing with his chest hair and smiled up at him.

“I’ve never been better.”  
  
“Nothing hurts?” Fjord shook his head.

“I’ll be a little sore tomorrow. Nothing to be worried about. More than worth it.” He grinned at Cad, who flushed a little.

“I’m glad you had a good time.” He got up to go to the washbasin and retrieved warm water and a clean cloth. “May I?” Fjord nodded, eyelids heavy. He felt Caduceus stroke his thighs, parting them slightly.

“Oh, I left a bit of a bruise here…” Caduceus hummed, placing his palm over a spot on Fjord’s ass that he couldn’t see. Fjord felt warmth and vitality flow through him, presumably as Cad healed him. Fjord propped himself up on his elbows and looked over his shoulder.

“Thanks, darling, but um - you can leave it next time.” He blushed but Caduceus chuckled, his eyes flashing with that wanting, possessive hunger they’d had earlier. He massaged Fjord’s legs and back, spreading Fjord’s thighs further to clean the oil and fluids off him. Fjord purred with satisfaction, drifting in a cloud of afterglow, until Caduceus slid back into bed. Cad held his arm out and Fjord rolled over with a sigh, folding his arms over Caduceus’s chest and resting his chin on them. Cad smiled, satisfied and sleepy, and ran his fingers through Fjord’s hair.

“Caduceus?” Fjord broke the silence, his voice unsteady.

“Yes, Fjord?” Caduceus tilted his chin down to meet Fjord’s eyes.

“I love you.” Caduceus smiled giddily and pulled Fjord up for sweet, loving kisses, both of them giggling like kids against each other’s lips.

“You saved my life,” Fjord said quietly. “I would say you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but, uh, that’s not a high bar. Not good enough to…express what you mean to me.” They stayed like that for a long few moments, kissing softly, basking in the warmth of the other with their chests pressed together and legs tangled up.

“Fjord, I never thought that leaving my home would be worth it. I knew the Mother was asking me to go, so I would do it, but I didn’t want to go. And then…from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew it would be alright. I know that sounds strange to say, but I just felt it, I knew it would be worth it, in one way or another. I didn’t expect it to be in this way, exactly, but…it’s worth it because of you.” Fjord sighed with happiness and let his cheek rest on his arms, which were still folded over Cad’s chest. He never wanted to move from this position, never wanted to have any part of him separate from Caduceus if he could help it. So far, he’d felt like that every time they had sex, and he hoped he never stopped feeling it.

“I love you so much, Caduceus.” The words fell from his tongue easily now. He could say it over and over and over again, and it felt so natural, so right to say it to Caduceus.

“I love you too, Fjord.”

“Caduceus?” a high voice with a Nicodrani accent came from just outside the door. Fjord and Caduceus froze and Fjord untangled himself from Caduceus and rolled to the side as the door swung open. “Are you in there? Have you seen Fjord? I can’t find hi- OH MY GODS!” Jester gasped, her face lighting up. “I didn’t know you guys were SLEEPING TOGETHER oh my GODS, I would totally have knocked, I’m so sorry, and-“

“Jester!” Fjord groaned, pulling up the sheet to make sure he was covered. “Get out of here!”

“Okay but I want the whole story after you’re done!” she called as Fjord lifted his hand and sent the door slamming shut with a blast of force magic. Fjord sighed heavily and wiped a hand over his face. Caduceus was lying there looking amused, one arm under his head.

“So much for privacy,” Fjord grumbled.

“Well, we weren’t going to be able to keep it from them forever. Just be glad she didn’t decide to come looking for you twenty minutes ago.” Fjord’s cheeks grew hotter. He really could just picture Jester recreating the image of twenty minutes ago in her sketchbook as a visual aid for her dramatic narration. “You alright?” Caduceus asked gently. He took Fjord’s hand. “I can go talk to her, ask her to keep things under wraps.”

“No, it’s alright. I’m sure she’s told half the house by now anyway.” Fjord, secretly, was kind of glad the choice had been taken out of their hands. “And let’s get a deadbolt put on that door, yeah?” Caduceus laughed, a sound that filled Fjord’s heart with warmth. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing these two so feedback is appreciated! Author loves kudos / comments. :)


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